Student Doctor Villanueva

Dear God,

It’s hard to believe how calm I am after 2 wks of med school; I am pleasantly surprised at how not stressed out, and not overwhelmed I am. Father, I owe it all completely to you. I am blessed on every side, and it’s all because of your faithfulness to me as your child.

First and foremost, thank you for giving me a husband to do this adventure with. It’s just such a rare blessing to have the one I love most sitting right beside me all day long as I study what I love. Out of the 189 students in our class, only two other students have that blessing.

I praise you for leading us to Bryan College for undergrad and for how well the bio department prepared us for our present studies. We have such a great foundation in the sciences upon which to build, and we owe it all to you.

Lord, I praise you for daily giving me what I need, and I thank your Spirit for giving me peace when I cast my cares on thee. Jesus’ words about not worrying about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of its own are always running through my mind, and it compels me to take life a day at a time, and no more. So many people in my class are planning weeks ahead and are studying way more than I am, and they will probably make better grades than me, but that’s okay.

I want to retain the balanced life you have taught me to see as precious, after all the unnecessary sufferings I caused myself during undergrad. I had such a martyrdom mentality—I felt that my calling to be a doctor justified my tendency to neglect my body’s basic needs (adequate sleep, food) and to give up fellowship with others in order to make the grades necessary for med school acceptance. But really, I was just feeding my pride by trying to perform well in your eyes and in the eyes of others in order to feel worthy of love. Thank you for breaking down those lies and leading me into your Truth that brings freedom.

Before entering VCOM, I even questioned whether or not I wanted to be a doctor anymore because you had changed me so much from the person I once was. I think what scared me most about entering med school was I felt I'd have to go back to the frantic, unhealthy life of striving I once lived as a bio major, and I didn’t want to do that for anything. But now that I’m two wks in, I realize that I don’t have to do that, and I finally have peace about where you’ve brought me.

Thank you for leading David and me to take last year off in order to teach us what is important in life. I wasn’t ready to be in med school a year ago. With my parents’ divorce, being a newly wed, and going through all the health problems I went through this past year, I never would have made it, and you knew that in your infinite wisdom and foresight. So thank you for always knowing what I need and for doing things on your time and not mine.

So, as tests start up this week and the heat rises a bit as new material in large amounts begins to come my way, I pray that you will keep my priorities straight. Remind me always of what you taught me this year: that I am first called to love and serve you with all my heart and to seek your Kingdom; second, I am called to love and serve my husband with all I am, and I am to guard that relationship with all that is in me. I am sure that Satan will attack my marriage before he attacks my calling to be a physician. Third, I am called to love and serve others in such a way that points to You. I am not assured tomorrow, and I need to always live like that.

Treating and seeing patients will not come for another two years; for now, I have my classmates and any other people that you allow me to mesh lives with to love on. You could return before I finish med school, or my life could be taken from me, so I want to burn out bright by being intentional about loving the people around me right now.

It may surprise people to hear me say this, but I’m not going to make every sacrifice necessary to make A’s in med school this year. I will even be satisfied with C’s if I know that it’s my best effort without sacrificing the important things in my life. I commit to you to do my best while cherishing and maintaining the balanced life you've taught me to live, and I ask you for peace in my soul when my performance-driven identity rises up in me and pressures me to go back to my old way of life.

Protect me from the evil one and from myself; examine my mind and my heart, and continue to bring the good work you started in me to completion.

"You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the Lord forever,
for the Lord God is an everlasting rock."

Isaiah 26:3-4