Friday, September 18, 2009

Because of God

“Because of God’s great love, we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness! I say to myself, ‘God, you are my portion- all I need. So, I will wait for Him.’ God is so good to those whose hope is in Him – to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.” Lamentations 3:22-26

“Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you (Ps 116:7).”

Dear Giver and Fulfiller of Desires- my El Shaddai,

Today I am overjoyed and grateful. My soul wells up with thankfulness unto You for all your goodness, mercy and grace. All of my life, two big questions I’ve wondered. “If you have me to marry, who will the man be?” & “What vocation did you create me for?” Today, I rest in knowing your will for both answers. David, my husband and closest of friends, is my greatest reminder of your grace, love and goodness. I think of our story and the way you brought us together, and I cry facedown with tears of adoration for the way you have fulfilled the desires of my heart. He is my greatest gift from you, aside from your salvation and companionship.

Yesterday, at 11:14 am, David and I were accepted into the medical school of our choice.

“Not to us, God, but to your name be the glory. Our God is in heaven; he does whatever pleases Him (Ps 115:1-3).”

I am without the adequate words to describe how excited I am. I think back over the last four years of searching myself and your spirit to discover with clarity your will for my occupation. You provided jobs, internships, personal illness, and a solid education to prepare and lead me into your will. There were times I was certain I could not do it- times when I wanted an easier race to run or times I focused too much on my inadequacies and decided I could never make it. But you did not let me stray from your purposes. Your loving discipline always brought me back to the path you created me for and you never let me fall.

“If the Lord delights in a man’s way, he makes his steps firm; though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand (Ps 37:23-24).”

You do not abandon the works of your hands. “It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect (Ps 18:32).” When I trust in you, I am never disappointed. You “give the desires of my heart and make all my plans succeed (Ps 20:1)” when I allow you to form my desires and plans (Ps 145:16, 19).

All my life, I have constantly tasted and seen that you are good and that those who seek you lack no good thing (Ps 34:8-10). Thank you, Father, for all the ways you are accomplishing the dreams and goals you placed in my soul. My soul will continue to cling to you every step of this race because I know without a doubt that the hardest stretch is still to come.

I look to you, God, and your strength; I will continue to seek your face always (Ps 105:4).”

What amazes me about you is that your love is better than anything in this life and just knowing you is better than any of your gifts. My heart knows in its depths that I can find security nowhere but in my relationship with you because all of the other joys in my life can disappear in a blink of an eye- my husband, my job, my family, my friends, my finances and my health…it is all so temporary.

“My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my life and all I need forever (Ps 73:26).”

But you do not let me get lost in the fleetingness of this life or in the reality that I am just dust, a vapor, a flower of the field. You alone sustain me and promise me that the best is yet to come.

You are faithful to all your promises and loving toward all you have made. May you use my life to continue to show yourself to the world.

Amen.