Tis but a Moment in Time

The treadmill has slowed, and I look around. I've been running so hard for so long now - has it really been two years since I last blogged? 

Blake - 3.5 years old

My oldest is almost 4. He has a will as strong as...well, my own. You "pay for your rais'n," as the saying goes. He challenges every command, has to always know why, and his energy level has been full-throttle since birth. He hates to sit still for very long, as do I. The main thing that distinguishes Blake from me is that he is not a people-pleaser. You're not going to convince Blake to do a thing - unless it's his idea. Nothing in my life has exhausted and challenged me quite like parenting this red-headed wonder. We don't choose the means by which God makes us into the image of His Son, but he'll get the job done! 

In the summer of 2015, only two rotations into clinical year, we were blessed with our second pregnancy. It was planned, but it certainly happened faster than we anticipated. To think there was a day when I questioned my ability to have children with all my problems growing up. Ohh, we make our plans, but the Lord guides our steps. This pregnancy brought me so much healing. I still struggled with migraines and depression, but I took care of myself, took my Imitrex and Zoloft after weighing the benefits vs the risks, and I had a much better experience. Motherhood and all the sacrifices that come with it were already in place. The hard work in some ways had already been completed. I'd learned what it means to surrender my desires when necessary to care for another human being. I was ready this time. 

Big brother Blake

A healthy baby Jace ("healer") was born March 18, 2016 - and we did not take his health for granted, Our dear friends' baby girl went to heaven shortly before Jace's arrival. Baby Mila had congenital heart disease and a rare genetic syndrome that complicated things even further. Her short 4 months here were spent battling for her life at Boston Children's Hospital. Her life made my postpartum time with Jace so sweet because she helped me choose to love every moment no matter how tired I was. Mila's picture is on my fridge, and she reminds me that every day is a gift I have not earned. Her precious eyes speak to me, as if saying, "To live is Christ - every breath of it - and to die is GAIN. This is not our home."

 Jace's easy-going temperament has made the transition from 1 to 2 pretty seamless.  From the moment Blake emerged, it was like he was shaking his fist at anything and anyone that tried to appease him. He wouldn't nurse, hated sleep, refused pacifiers, screamed in the carseat/swing/bathtub, and he had an opinion about everything and voiced it readily. Jace, on the contrary, is very smiley, laid back and content. He loves pacifiers, sucking his thumb, swings, sleeping in the car, being held, nursing, and baths. If he's hungry or tired, he might go, "mah." Oh, man, they are like night and day. It will be quite interesting watching them grow up as brothers. 

Villanueva Fam

 In May 2016, 2 months after baby Jace was born, I walked the graduation stage at Biotech Place. I didn't get my diploma for another few months as I completed what I relinquished for maternity leave, but I eventually became Jana Villanueva, PA-C, nonetheless! I start my first job this fall in family medicine. 

Wake Forest PA Class of 2016

My rock-star husband David

David just started his 3rd and final year of family medicine residency this summer, and he is considering a fellowship thereafter in obstetrics. As a family, we can hardly believe the light is visible at the end of our medical training tunnel. We celebrated 7 years of marriage this year, and medical training has consumed the majority of our time. We are now starting to pray more specifically about what God has for us when David finishes.

What a stud!

 I could not be more proud of my husband. No one could balance the responsibilities he's had the past 6 years of training better than he has. He is an excellent physician, yet he has not sacrificed our marriage or his fatherhood in becoming one. When he has time away from work, he's with us - serving and loving us well. He leads our home with humility, bravery, integrity, and sacrificial love. I cringe when I hear other men talking about how their wives are too "strong-willed" and need to learn to "submit." I'm as strong-willed as they come, but it's a joy to be on David's team because I know he is motivated by our greater good. He lets me be me, with patience and long-suffering, and he entrusts my growth to the Lord. 7 years into our marriage, I have never been more in love with this man. I only wish we had more time to spend together, but as my daily teammate in parenting our boys and striving to love our community well, I couldn't be more blessed.

Jerad and Jessica's Wedding

Other pertinent news of 2016 includes my younger brother Jerad marrying the love of his life, Jessica, and my mom graduating from South University with her DNP!

Babies - graduations - weddings - family reunions...it has been quite a jam-packed summer indeed!

 As I write this, the dust has settled from all the excitement, and I'm drinking a glass of wine on the couch, dark chocolate close at hand, trying to wind down from a long day of caring for the boys without waking David up as he sleeps preparing for his night shift. I rub my legs with muscle gel as I try to recover from yesterday's 7 mile run around Salem Lake - my longest run since motherhood. Autumn is fast approaching, and with it comes my 30th birthday this year. My celebration plan includes running the Bull City Half Marathon with David and some awesome friends, getting my wedding band tattooed onto my finger, and transitioning to the beginning of the rest of my life.

Life is short. Even when it's long by human standards, it's still short. I just want to live it well. I've been poured into by so many people, God most importantly, over the last 3 decades, and now, I just want to spend myself for as many days as I have left. 30 is young, yes, but David and I have already lost two friends we played collegiate soccer with to unexpected deaths, and no one is immune. God blesses us as our Father because he loves us and he loves to give us good gifts, but what truly glorifies him most is when HE HIMSELF is our greatest gift and we have open hands with all that he has given us.

Lord, help me run the race you've set before me and throw off anything that hinders. You know my vices well. With open hands, let me hold my plans. With a bowed heart, help me trust you in joy and in pain. And even though busyness and exhaustion are my primary struggles in the present, tis but a moment of time...when the suffering comes, be my anchor, oh Lord.